I'm fine.

I'll say I'm fine till the day I die.
When people say I'm pretty, I say thanks with a slight bow and a smile on my face.
Being told I'm pretty, even hundreds and thousands of times, won't change the fact that I still feel ugly deep inside.

I'll say I'm fine till the day I die.
When people ask me how was my day, I reply it's great with a big bright smile.
Even though everyday is a struggle, no one needs to know, as no one could understand even if they knew.

I'll say I'm fine till the day I die.
Doll myself up from time to time, make myself feel beautiful even though it won't last.
Take picture of me when I'm at my best, so that I may look at it when I'm breaking apart, to remind me that I was beautiful once, to remind me how low I've fallen.

I'll say I'm fine till the day I die.
Trying hard to minimize contact with another people, so that when the time comes, no one will remember me.

I'll say I'm fine till the day I die.
No matter how many times I lie, a lie can never become the truth, and I can never be "fine" like how I was meant to.

A pretty face can't be sad, a big wide smile can't be depressed.
Stuck in a loop with no way out, maybe it's just my mind refusing to see the exit sign hanging so high up.

Never mind sunny future where soft breeze carrying smell of spring exists. Never mind the moon and stars shining brightly on a cloudless night.
Never mind the innocent smiles and laughter of children playing in the yard.
Never mind gossips and idle chats shared among friends on a girl's day out.

Bright side never liked me well, nor does life itself.
Never mind all the possibilities that future might hold.
A wish so simple yet rejected by the world.
A wish for sooner death, no explanation needed.

Every morning I wake with disappointment, a realization that I have yet another day to live.
Like clockwork, going through the same motions and routine, day by day, week by week. And before you knew it, months and years went by, and I am alive, still.
Wearing the brightest smile, looking my best, assuring people that nothing is wrong. It is said that when a lie gets told often enough, it slowly becomes the truth. Maybe, just maybe, if I smile a little brighter, look a little better, and lie to a few more people that everything's going great, everything is going to be just fine, right?

Forsaken by both God and the Devil, thrown into this mundane world with neither a plan, nor a future, only with a single instruction "fade into oblivion upon the end of your mortal live".

Incomplete and broken I am. Empty as one could be. Incapable of many emotions I am. Only anger, sadness and guilt are those familiar to me.

Leeching onto feelings of others, I feel no joy nor passion of my own. I've never known love for another fellow human, don't think I ever will.

Make haste! Make haste!
May the end be here much sooner, rather then later!
Make way! Make haste!
Clear the paths, make no oaths!
No time for regrets, what-ifs, or make-believes.
Shoulder the sins and wrongs of others, it don't matter, it's only natural.
Noone's perfect, neither am I, who are we to judge one another?
Make haste! Make way!
Clear the path not to heaven, nor to hell.
A road to oblivion, I shall carve it out, for I will only dissappear into nothingness when I'm gone, just like how I have always been, even when amongst the living.

DEAD with a heartbeat

What do you mean I'm still alive? Aren't I already dead??
I'm here but never seen, my voice are never heard.
Only here for your convenience, my rights never mattered.
Bleed it out till I'm dry, pay no mind, it's all just in my head.

What do you mean I'm strong and yet have a heart of stone?
Indeed my heart don't beat, neither does my blood flow.
Throw me into the fire and I will not burn,
neither will I freeze when you throw me out into the snow.

Am I dead? Aren't I dead??
Haven't I been dead for so long, have I ever even lived??
A heart that cracks with every beat, simply waiting to turn into ash.
A life that's not even mine, should I even continue living?

向使命的終點慢慢前進，命運我的齒輪已開始旋轉。
眾神的失誤，魑魅的引誘惑與陪伴。
天堂地獄都不去，只願與＇它＇一同遊戲在時間的細缝裡。