forgive me! for i've done the unthinkable
for i can't turn back the hands of time
for i can't stop my heart from being the way it is now
for i can't be myself no more

forgive me! for i've become weak
for becoming frighten of something which i grew up with
for giving in to the loneliness which i should have been so familiar with
for trying to run from the darkness which i should have been accustom to
for being so blinded, i can no longer see the light

shadow / 影

beautiful shadows
following me, where ever i go
it's there
always with me, always by my side
but it's not my shadow
that's not mine

that's my creator
the original me
the one who has been traumatized
used, and abused, and thrown aside

the "Me" who chose to live
in the dark, as a shadow
allowing her very own reflections
to live her life, as her, for her
while she lives her life, as their shadow

i shall keep these feelings to myself....
not letting anyone know
to keep it from being notice
i have to first lie to myself

god has shown his mercy once again
placing a bowl of candy on my desk
despite my continue rudeness to him
he has placed those sweets of happiness on my desk

i shall learn from my past mistakes
and treasure them well
not asking for more
i shall treasure what i have

as i slowly savor the sweet
while whispering "thank you" to him in my heart
reminding myself not to be greedy
for i only have that much, and not ask for more

even if it may not be enough
share it i will, to others who are keen to share
for i've learnt that happiness is not to be mine alone
but to be shared and spread, or so i think, it should be

if god were never to place those candies on my desk again
it's gonna be fine to me, i guess
for i have not been a good enough child, deserving of his gifts
at least i will have some memories of those sweet of happiness
once being placed there, and sweet memories of me
once being able to treasure something with my heart