dreams, are dreams....
things not meant to be, in reality

drifting from places to places,
in search for that special heaven...
to rest one's mind and soul
within it's momentary peace

dreamers seeks shelter,
in dreams they dream...
for the joy and peace there,
can never be found, in that world of the awaken

harsh and cruel, are the truth of life
giving no comfort, showing no mercy
one can only await for the time to arrive
when reality crush and break them into million pieces
with the truth, which was hidden, behind those velvet curtains

18/07/2010 0424h

oh fate!
it was you, who taught me trust and believe!!
and it was you as well, sadly,
who also taught me the pain of betrayal..

and after so many disappointment you've showed me,
you have once again asked of me to believe once more.
have you not showed me enough of the ugly side of life!?
have you not scar my soul enough to let me go!?

i have seen one too many, of what humans nature are!
so much so, till i cannot refuse to see the truth..
so much so, that i've become one of those i hated to be...
more twisted, more contradicting has become of me....

to what extend, do i have to lose myself,
in order to please your sick and self-pleasuring mind!?
to what extend, do i have to fall from grace,
in order to please your horrid twisted soul!?

15/07/2010 0257h

pure as snow, is the soul of the innocent
hiding away from the world
unspeakable pain and sadness
deep in her heart, buried within the snow

seeking not, the approval of those around
but the smiles of those she cares
seeking not, to be trusted by those around
but to trust, and not be betrayed, by those dear to her

wanting not, to feel joy all by herself
but to spread and share it to those around
how can one share what she doesn't have
how can one spread joy, when sadness is all her heart knows of

life have brought nothing but pain and betrayal
while death has brought those who cares to her
the world of the living as nothing but hell
while the abyss of the dead is her shelter and heaven

15/07/2010 0154h

in things which i've never give a damn,
i shouldn't even care, not even once.
in things which i've never believed in,
i should never even start to believe, ever!

why even bother,when to them
i'm just another worthless, useless shit
why start believing, when in the end
everything which you know, will end up being nothing but lies

should've return to my original state of existence
where i'm shunned and hated by all
back to the state of absolute solitude
where kindness do not exist in me at all.......

14/007/2010 2159h

time to pray, time to sleep
time to put all woes away
once you wake, it's a brand new day
and surely you're gonna see those smiles again

important to me, are those around
and their voices are the most lovely sound
to see them play, and hear them laugh
to have loads of fun or juz lazing around

when i close my eyes, those time continues
when i wake, the fun shall continue
for i'm sure we'll hang out again, soon~
♥

looking forward, with no emotions
eyes as such
what future can they see

pale and gray, skin like those of a corpse
with a lifeless body
what more can the soul do

endlessly wondering, among thoughts
of everything, of nothingness
can one remain sane, while being lost in never-ending circle

words of the heart, never to be spoken
lips sewn shut
what hope is there to speak of

life is the beginning?
no, death is
life is to be feared, for it the true ending

as such, i place no hope in life
but rather, in death i seek peace
for it is there, in death, where i shall start my stories

6/7/2010 1657h

to You, my Love......i'm sorry

Death! u love me so
but why do you wish for me to live
why not just take my soul
and make it yours
just as you are mine....

Humans! which despise me so
with your sick way of reasoning
there is no end to my suffering
yet you refuse to let me die
for you will have one less soul to torture

Gods! u love me as well
but your selfish love comes wif a price
u love me, as long as i'm alone
but when i mingle wif others
one is bound to suffer
for i am meant to be yours, and yours alone
not to be shared among the rest of foolish humans

Death! u love me so
why did u forbid me to take my own life
why is it tat our contract states
"i am to live my life, happily, till it's natural end"
why won't you let me go to you

Death! u know i love you so
u know i long to be your's alone
but all u do is smile, and encourage
and at times, those smiles
they just make my desire to be wif you stronger
for i am juz another foolish, naive human
whose selfishness knows no bound
who is weak in the face of adversity
who is easy to back down in face of difficulties

so Death, my beloved Death
i apologize in advance
just in case i have really lost it
and could not fulfill our contract
u may punish me as u deem fit
when i have truly crossover to your domain

6/7/2010 1435h

Where have you been, my love
my Angel, so sweet
Do you not know that i remember you still
Have you not remember that promise we made together
or have you been forced, into becoming a human,
like me
somewhere far beyond my reach

When will we finally meet again
my love, so kind
Do you long for me, just as i have for you

Now that you can be seen & heard by others,
will your love not waver, by the temptations of the world
Will you love me the same, just as always,
knowing that i'm nothing but a plain & ordinary girl
while you, my love, is a charming devil in disguise
Will you still love me the same, my angle
just as you did, till now